Mind Stretchers
( A terable thing too wast )

Did Ya' Ever Wonder

  • Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

  • Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
  • How come abbreviated is such a long word?
  • If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
  • Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
  • Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
  • Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
  • Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
  • Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is? Why did you ask someone without a watch what time it is?
  • Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
  • Who is general failure and why is he reading my disk?
  • The light went out, but where to?
  • Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
  • Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?
  • Why is the alphabet in that order?
  • What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
  • If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
  • Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
  • Do fish get cramps after eating?
  • Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
  • Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
  • Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
  • If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
  • When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
  • Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not adoor?
  • Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
  • How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
  • If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?
  • Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
  • How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
  • Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
  • Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
  • Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
  • Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
  • Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
  • Did Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
  • What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
  • Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
  • If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
  • Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?
  • Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
  • Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer?
  • I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
  • If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
  • Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
  • Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?
  • Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?
  • War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.
  • Why do we park in a driveway and drive on a Parkway?

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