Pvt. Murphys Rules of War

Animation Factory

  1. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
  2. If its stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
  3. You are not Superman [ Marines & Fighter Pilots take note ].
  4. Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.
  5. When in doubt, empty the magazine.
  6. Never share a fighting hole with someone who is braver than you.
  7. There is always a way, Thinking of it before you need to is the trick.
  8. If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed toward you.
  9. All 5 second grenade fuses are 3 seconds.
  10. If the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is *not* our friend.
  11. It is generally unadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.
  12. The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack.
  13. If your short on everything but enemy, you're in combat.
  14. Incoming has right of way.
  15. Body Count --- 4 Pigs + 3 Cows + 1 Enemy = 99 KIA's.
  16. No combat ready unit ever passed inspection.
  17. No inspection ready unit ever passed combat.
  18. Teamwork is essential, it gives them more people to shoot at.
  19. Tracers work both ways.
  20. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
  21. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
  22. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support.
  23. If they're shooting at you, it's a high intensity conflict.
  24. A sucking chest wound is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
  25. If at first you don't succeed, call for artillery.
  26. Artillery adds dignity to what would otherwise be a vulgar brawl.
  27. When artillery doesn't work, call for an air strike.
  28. Close only counts in horse shoes, hand gernades, and nukes.
  29. No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.
  30. Friendly fire --- Isn't.
  31. The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an 2nd Lieutenant with a map.
  32. The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.
  33. The buddy system is essential to your survival, it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
  34. The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will shoot short.
  35. If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
  36. The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
  37. If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
  38. The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.
  39. There is nothing more satisfying than having someone take a shot at you [ and miss ].
  40. Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants.
  41. If the Gunny can see you, so can the enemy.
  42. Never worry about the bullet with your name on it. Instead, worry about shrapnel addressed to 'occupant'.
  43. All battles are fought at the junction of two or more map sheets --- printed at different scales.
  44. All battles are fought uphill.
  45. All battles are fought in the rain.
  46. Logistics is the ball and chain of armoured warfare.
  47. Military intelligence is a contradiction of terms.
  48. What gets you promoted from one rank gets you killed in the next rank.
  49. A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.
  50. If orders can be misunderstood, they will be.
  51. War is like love. To triumph, you must make contact.
  52. Boldness becomes rarer, the higher the rank.
  53. Never reinforce failure. Failure reinforces itself.
  54. Only 5% of an intelligence report is accurate. The trick of a good commander is to isolate the 5%.
  55. Tactics are for amateurs; professionals study logistics.
  56. When a front line soldier overhears two General Staff officers conferring, he's fallen back too far.
  57. It isn't necessary to be an idiot to be a senior officer, but it sure helps.
  58. No captain can do very wrong who places his ship alongside that of the enemy.
  59. Always know when it's time to get out of Dodge.
  60. Always know how to get out of Dodge.
  61. Always remember, your equipment was made by he lowest bidder.
  62. Priorities are made by officers, not God. There's a difference.
  63. Always honour a threat.
  64. The weight of all of your equipment is proportional to the length of the time you have been carrying it.
  65. Hell hath no fury like a liberal non-combatant.
  66. Fighter pilots make movies; Attack pilots make history.
  67. There are two kinds of naval vessels: submarines and targets.
  68. A lost battle is a battle one thinks one has lost.
  69. Surprise is an event that takes place in the mind of a commander.
  70. All warfare is based on deception.
  71. A little caution outflanks a large cavalry.
  72. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more than your fair share to take.
  73. Professional soldiers are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs.
  74. Parade ground inspections are to combat readiness as mess hall food is to cuisine.
  75. Cold and snow are not neutral.
  76. The tank is a monument to the inaccuracy of indirect fire.
  77. Diplomacy has rarely been able to gain at the conference table what cannot be gained and held on a battlefield.
  78. War is the unfolding of miscalculations.
  79. Perfect is the enemy of good enough.
  80. Good enough --- Isn't.
  81. He who wants do defend everything defends nothing.
  82. Mine fields are not neutral. They attack anyone.
  83. The effective radius of a hand grenade is always greater than the distance you can jump.
  84. The effective radius of a hand grenade is greater then the average grunt can throw it.
  85. Your mortar barrage will put exactly one round on the intended target. That round will be a dud.
  86. The mortar team will always have the correct number of safety pins to prove they armed all the rounds.
  87. To ensure this, the mortar team carries extra pins.
  88. There is no such thing as a convenient fighting hole.
  89. Odd objects attract fire. You are odd.
  90. More aircraft are incapacitated by a shortage of spare parts than by enemy action.
  91. Beer Math --- 2 Beers X 12 Grunts equals 49 Cases.


Home Links [ Home Page ] Web Rings & Links Clocks

Food for Thought Truisms Mind Stretchers New Words Draaken's Lair

Picture Page # 1 Picture Page # 2 Picture Page # 3 Picture Page # 4 Picture Page # 5

Marine Page # 1 Marine Page # 2 Murphy's Rules ? POW ? MIA ? Awards